Freud on SEO, Camus on email design, Aristotle on landing pages
Latest posts | Feed | By Mark Brownlow on August 08, 2007
(Something offbeat to lighten the mood)The Internet is a modern invention. But history's great leaders and philosophers seemingly anticipated the challenges of SEO, email and online business long before Tim Berners-Lee thought three w's looked good next to each other.
Take search engine marketing, for example.
Shakespeare, despite his wealth of unique content, struggled to get on the first page of the SERPS for some of his key phrases, noting in Hamlet...
"O, my offence is rank, it smells to heaven;
It hath the primal eldest curse upon 't"
It hath the primal eldest curse upon 't"
His main SEO mistake, according to Immanuel Kant, was to ignore the long tail...
"Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by
honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few;
and number not voices, but weigh them."
honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few;
and number not voices, but weigh them."
Though commentators argue that Kant was actually referring to segmentation and database marketing.
Other philosophers preferred to focus on landing page copy. Aristotle wrote on the subject...
"In making a speech one must study three points:
first, the means of producing persuasion;
second, the language;
third the proper arrangement of the
various parts of the speech."
first, the means of producing persuasion;
second, the language;
third the proper arrangement of the
various parts of the speech."
And Friedrich Nietzsche made it clear which side he was on in the "long copy versus short copy" debate:
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences
what others say in a whole book."
what others say in a whole book."
The topic of SEO troubled many a presidential mind, too. Theodore Roosevelt knew the value of being on the first page of the search results...
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious
triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank
with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much
because they live in the gray twilight that knows
neither victory nor defeat."
triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank
with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much
because they live in the gray twilight that knows
neither victory nor defeat."
And George Washington feared those Google ranking penalties, wisely advising against participation in questionable link exchange schemes...
"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem
your own reputation; for it is better to be alone
than in bad company."
your own reputation; for it is better to be alone
than in bad company."
The true SEO expert was Calvin Coolidge, though. His main complaint was that people failed to pay attention to incoming links and other basic search marketing techniques...
"They criticize me for harping on the obvious; if all the folks
in the United States would do the few simple things
they know they ought to do, most of our big problems
would take care of themselves."
in the United States would do the few simple things
they know they ought to do, most of our big problems
would take care of themselves."
But few people knew that his AdWords campaigns were outsourced to a specialist agency...
"In the discharge of the duties of this office, there
is one rule of action more important than all others.
It consists in never doing anything that someone
else can do for you."
is one rule of action more important than all others.
It consists in never doing anything that someone
else can do for you."
The last word on this matter goes to Sigmund Freud, though, who warned against relying on organic Google SERPS for website traffic...
"Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all
his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably
admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness
from one quarter alone."
his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably
admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness
from one quarter alone."
The world's great minds also concerned themselves with email marketing.
Shakespeare, for example, despaired of his poor anti-spam software, complaining in Hamlet...
"O, woe is me,
To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"
To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"
His email marketing skills matched his SEO failures. Possibly because he never worried about sender and subject lines, arguing...
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Fortunately for Shakespeare, he did realize the value of viral marketing, remarking that...
"We are advertis'd by our loving friends."
You may be shocked to learn that Plato was a spammer, replying thus to those who accused him of failing to gain a proper opt-in to his email list...
"Your silence gives consent."
Which is unfortunate, because he knew his marketing. He was, for example, the first to realize the importance of the welcome message...
"The beginning is the most important
part of the work."
part of the work."
..and he never let himself be swayed by misleading industry benchmarks, noting that...
"A good decision is based on knowledge
and not on numbers."
and not on numbers."
US presidents were also big on email.
Franklin D. Roosevelt urged email marketers to focus on relevancy, but accepted that some people will still hit the "report this as spam" button...
"If you treat people right they will treat you right...
ninety percent of the time."
ninety percent of the time."
Other presidents had more concrete advice. Dwight D. Eisenhower warned against over using discount offers in your emails...
"There is no victory at bargain basement prices."
...gaining unexpected support from Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard...
"Not just in commerce but in the world of ideas too our age is putting
on a veritable clearance sale. Everything can be had so dirt cheap
that one begins to wonder whether in the end anyone will want
to make a bid."
on a veritable clearance sale. Everything can be had so dirt cheap
that one begins to wonder whether in the end anyone will want
to make a bid."
Meanwhile, HTML email design caused George Washington many a sleepless night. He suggested agreeing some kind of common coding approach, but understood the limitations of Outlook 2007...
"Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest
can repair; the rest is in the hands of God."
can repair; the rest is in the hands of God."
Others struggled with the problem of image suppression at webmail services. Albert Camus, for example, was a noted fan of images in email...
"A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover,
through the detours of art, those two or three great
and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened."
through the detours of art, those two or three great
and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened."
But Francis Bacon preferred a more text-based approach...
"Pictures and shapes are but secondary objects
and please or displease only in the memory."
and please or displease only in the memory."
Though Julius Caesar suggested the whole image blocking issue was overrated...
"As a rule, men worry more about what they
can't see than about what they can."
can't see than about what they can."
Who then do we turn to for the truth? Well, according to Thomas Jefferson...
"Advertisements...contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper"
More offbeat stuff | Tags: email marketing, seo, search marketing, landing pages, philosophers, presidents, email, spam, google, email design
[This post brought to you by Campaigner Email Marketing]
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