So how good are you as an email marketer?

Here a little tongue-in-cheek quiz to brighten your day…

…and to see just how much you know about email marketing.

Are you email royalty or just an onlooker waving a damp flag?

Q1 What is permission?

A: Permission is when a subscriber asks to be added to an email list. Such permission can be withdrawn directly (unsubscribe, spam report) or indirectly (ignoring all messages) at any time, so senders need to continue delivering value to ensure this permission remains current.

B: A red-orange fruit that looks a little like a tomato.

C: I prefer to ask for forgiveness.

Q2 What role does copywriting play in email?

A: Copywriting is an undervalued skill in email marketing that is important for getting people to see, read and act on emails.

B: You cannot use copywrited images or text in your messages.

C: It’s critical. It takes a special talent to come up with 500 different ways to spell VIAGRA.

Q3 What is cross-channel integration?

A: Coordinating and combining the channels you use so as to optimize the desired results across the organization.

B: A website available in both English and French.

C: When you spam Twitter, too.

Q4 What is the Can-Spam Act?

A: It provides a legal framework for sending commercial email in the USA, but the requirements fall well short of what are considered industry best practices.

B: A European Union directive covering hygiene regulations for processed meat.

C: US legislation that makes it OK to send unsolicited commercial email.

Q5 What role do tables play in email design?

A: A lack of standards in how email clients and webmail systems handle CSS means most emails are structured using tables.

B: They allow us to place our laptops at a comfortable height for using Photoshop.

C: We don’t worry about design: every minute spent on it is one less minute spent harvesting email addresses.

Q6 What is CPA?

A: Cost per action. A list owner may, for example, accept a third-party ad in their newsletter on a CPA basis. Payment might be a fixed fee for a lead generated, a white paper download or a sale, or a percentage of the revenue generated through the ad for the advertiser.

B: A certified public accountant.

C: The main payment method for the 100 million double opt-in email addresses I rent out to offshore pharmacies.

Q7 What are the key elements of the latest amendment to the EU’s Privacy and Communications Directive?

A: The amendment requires that users give their consent before an organization can place and access cookies on the user’s equipment.

B: Cookies! (Yet more hygiene regulations from the EU. Do they only ever think about food?)

C: Tell me more about this “privacy” thing you speak of. I can’t say I’m familiar with the term.

Q8 How do you get more email delivered?

A: Ensure you maintain a good sender reputation, primarily by keeping your lists free of dead addresses and sending the kind of email that does not generate spam complaints.

B: Send it Express.

C: You should send as much email as you can to as many people as you can as often as you can. That way you maximize your chances of getting some delivered.

Q9 What is the best frequency to send email?

A: The optimal frequency depends on your email program and your audience. It’s possible to send both too little and too much email, and the “best” frequency varies between individuals and segments.

B: Didn’t realize you could transmit emails via radio: this is all about mobile email, right?

C: Again, you should send as much email as you can to as many people as you can as often as you can.

Q10 Does an unopened email have value?

A: Yes, it impacts on awareness and can trigger response in other channels (search, offline etc.)

B: Does a tree falling in the wood make any sound, if nobody is there to hear it?

C: Not when you’re selling Viagra Soft Tabs and generic Viagra pills from $1.55.

So how did you do?

If you answered mainly A:
Well done! You know your email marketing. Reward yourself by leaving work early (if a boss or colleague complains, refer them to this quiz).

If you answered mainly B:
You have a poor understanding of the issues and a tenuous grip on reality. A career in the media beckons. Alternatively, if you have a Twitter account, you can try rebranding yourself as a social media guru.

If you answered mainly C:
Are you by any chance the wife of the late Nigerian Minister of Finance who needs help to transfer some funds out of the country?

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• Channel: None, but there's more email humor here.

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